So. Even though I set this blog up more than a year ago, this is my first official post. I guess I was inspired to get to it after watching "Julie and Julia" a couple of days ago. This was a beautiful film. And not just a beautiful film, but one that I can honestly say changed my life. Do I throw that phrase around too much? I don't think so. I think rather that decisions you make and art/life/culture you come in contact with/experience really does change your life and these days I'm making the habit of being in touch with, well, everything. I'm trying to be alert and live in the moment. These days, the moments feel pretty great. 

And there are things that really honestly change your life.

Like.... turning on the Grammy's in 2005 to see Green Day perform. Visiting Wilmington to see One Tree Hill film sites. 

So to back up, on Thursday night I had a Skype meeting with my professor about my upcoming paper on Billie Joe Armstrong's eventual role as a Musical Legacy. Toward the end of the call, he told me that "not to put undue pressure on you, but I want you to write the best paper you can because I believe this will be conference presentation worthy." 

When my heart started beating again, it started to sing. These are words that someone with scholarly leanings dreams of hearing. As my daughter said, "this changes everything." 

It is interesting when you know the exact moment something will change.

Needless to say, I realized right then I needed to get OUT of my funk (the one I'd been in for 2 weeks paralyzed that I have no talent and any good writing I've done is just a fluke) and get out of my way and just write this paper..... I could not be frozen with the fear of screwing this up--I have to rather, understand that this is my chance. The one just like Eminem sings about. Later, I couldn't sleep and scanning OnDemand saw J&J was playing and I'd always wanted to see it. So I did. And I got it. I really got it.

 This is my chance and it's never too late... and Frida was right, if you do create your own reality. You follow that which you love, that which you have real passion for and you will find what you're looking for. 

When work is play and play is work. 

In celebration, today I cooked Boeuf Bourguignon. It was a masterpiece. 

Now back to researching and focusing and preparing to write this paper. It needs to be good. Very good.